Confession
WARNING: This post may be differ from the usual and it might blow up your mind. So those who are not well prepare please, by all means, leave this blog now.
I always wanted to blog about this. However, everytime i could not seems to find the right word at the right time for it. Even now i still feel the same way. But i really wanna get it out or my head and also my mind. So the only option i have is to blog it out.
Today, i went to navigate my handphone calender using the short cut key for years. I navigate it till my phone started to stop in the year 2070. I quickly switch to my calculator in my phone to calculate how old will i be in year 2070. My phone calculator display the figure 84. My mind suddenly went blank and later the overwhelming fear came drowning my mind in darkness. I have this fear, the fear that came real strong after my accident. The fear which came along with a question in my head, where will i be when i am dead? What will my body be like? Where will i be buried? Will there be heaven or hell? Can i be in heaven instead since in movies heaven is always a so-called good place? Those question always pop in my mind especially during the night where i could not sleep. At times i really feel like crying because no one in this world could give me a specific answer on this. I am scared.
I really wanna eliminate this negative mind i have in me, but it could not be a permanent thing. There is no other option for it. I know some of you out there may think that it is a silly thing. Also i am well aware that everyone would die someday, which is a common thing. But i am fear of that. I love my family and friends and i do not wish that this things would be vanish in my mind. According to those feng sui specialize people said that we will be reincarnated in a good life if we do more good deed. My question is, how sure are they?? Can it be proven scientifically? The answer is NO!
I always have the thought of staying immortal if it is possible. Nevertheless, i really could not imagine staying for 1000 years doing the same old routine. Will it be fun?? Or maybe the opposite??
So now, what all i can do to stay positively is to eat healthily. That is what i can do now.
My Work
Since most of my peers been blogging about their work life. I of course could not be left out right? I finally got a permanent job. Happy? Not really.
What company are you in? A big famous company of course.
Where is it located? A shopping mall in 1u.
What is the name of the shop? FYI is Esprit! YAY!!!????
Position of the job? Working as a sales consultant. Sounds nice???
I tell you now that it is indeed an effing job if you would not notice. Last week i have been working full shift 10am – 10pm which is the main reason of me not being able to online. Standing like a mad cow and my leg sore like hell. Thankfully i wasn’t wearing heels and for the first few days of my work, i am able to enjoy a nice massage from my hubby because he is around, but now he is back to Malacca so no more massage plus cant be pamper by him. Sigh. The pay in Esprit is not what i expected T_T. But I only need to work 5days in a week and one of those day must be a weekend. 3 days will definitely be a full shift and 2 days will be base on shift. So just temporary work first lor. Next week my shift will be slightly better, so i wont be dead tired and i am able to work 2 jobs as well.
So here comes the best part that you might be waiting for. Working as a full shift staff are entitle to have 40% staff purchase for most of the items. But that will be after 3months when you are confirm. However, i am still entitle for staff purchase because my colleague allows me to use theirs! Happy??? So for those who would like to purchase Esprit things, inform me before hand and i will get for you the things that you want. Provided, the things that you want must be in my outlet. Or else i could not get staff price for you. And, you better pay me in cash before or after i have purchase the things for you.
The downside of working in a famous retail shop is, every single thing in the shop you also wanna buy. This is because, majority of the girls are usually shopaholic and spendthrift and i am indeed one of them of course! I have been eyeing on this black bag since day 1. Just like those normal bag where you can carry to campus that kind. Unfortunately, the price is rm199.90 before staff price and it is the remaining last two piece where they display it as sample. Should i buy it or not? And also their clothes, their belts, pants and so on. OMG!! Oh yea, currently Esprit have 50% off on selected items. In order for you to enjoy this discount, you have to purchase any 2 item. But i can tell you, those 50% items do not have small sizes already la.
Since today is my officially off day after working for 4days full shift straight, and yesterday i manage to go out for supper a.k.a my dinner (due to my shity meal breaks) with Jeremy since the treat is on him. Hehehe. Thank you Mr So-Called Handsome Jeremy Yong for yesterday!
On a random note, our big day is around the corner. What will it be this time?
p.s/ my baby has not ready yet leh. Damn la!!!
t.t.f.n
Annoyed
For those who are concern about my whereabouts, i am back in KL. Currently in Blitzone surfing the net with my bf. Earlier i got lots of things to blog. Unfortunately, the internet explorer does not allows me. In the end, i manage to find the firefox programme in this pc. So here i will try my very best to express what is hidden in my thoughts all this while.
Oh, before i start, the guy on my left side is pretty annoying as he has been coughing since i sat here. Dry cough. Just like what i am having but worse than me. Irritating. I bet he came to cc after his 9-5 and vent all his stress in dota.
I know that i have been slacking behind for jobs as i do not take family and friends advice for permanent jobs in the first place. The reason behind it was, being a part timer especially in big events will have higher pay then full timer. Seriously! Unfortunately, as time passes. The difficulty in finding high pay part time job arises because the quantity of event decreases. Eventually, back to square one. Now, the only way to clear my wrongdoing is to find a full time job. Wish me luck for that.
My baby might be ready in this few days time. Will blog about my baby in the coming post or so. I really would like to stay in KL to work. Partly because KL got more jobs opportunity that allows me to work 2jobs in a day. So hopefully i could get into one of the retail shop asap because i am running out of the “M” sign. Spending on food in KL itself could literally clear those pieces of notes i have in my wallet day after day. Moreover, I am really sick and tired of the physically and mentally infliction that occurs. Staying in a place that does not belongs to me any longer may form an ambience that may not put me at ease.
At some point, i really wonder. Should i stay?
